In case I haven’t said it recently…

And here’s why…

3.27.2011

Phoning It In

OK, OK, so I’m a slacker. I have become another in a long line of well-intentioned mothers, full of promise and hope, who embark on the journey that is blogging only to peter out after a few short weeks.  It was probably inevitable. I hope to redeem myself, though, here and now.

I have finally and successfully downloaded all the pictures I have taken of Harper on my cell phone to the computer. A process that was, I might add, inordinately tedious. Please keep in mind that my cell phone is pretty low-tech so the photos are a little dark and grainy, but they caught some of my favorite moments with her. I can’t always find the camera but I do always have my phone with me (a fact that seems pathetic and sad upon writing).

The first one is a belly photo. My friend, Jenn, called to tell me she hadn’t seen my belly yet so I took a photo. Two and a half hours later I went into labor.

I hope you love these photos as much as I do.

10.21.2010

10.22.2010

10.23.2010 (The night we brougt her home)

11.20.2010

12.10.2010 (Food Coma)

12.23.2010

1.9.2011

2.18.2011

2.24.2011 (Peek-A-Boo)

2.28.2011

3.7.2011

3.15.2011

3.15.2011

3.16.2011

3.19.2011

3.25.2011

3.25.2011

Doggone Cute

We have a weekly neighborhood dog walk that we organize. Harper has become the walk’s mascot. Here are a couple of photos of her at this morning’s walk. Please note how her T-shirt is doubly appropriate as it has both Valentine’s Day and dog themes represented.

Getting some vitamin D.

Check out those cheeks!

Why is everyone always taking pictures of me?



Cuteness Update

It occurred to me that, for a blog that I started to post photos of my adorable daughter, there are decidedly few photos of my daughter posted. I intend to correct that.


Brad bought me a Flip for Christmas. For those of you not In The Know (as I wasn't) it is a very small, very easy to use video camera. It is great for getting short clips of Harper. The only problem is that it has taken me until now to learn how to download videos from it. They're nothing spectacular but here are a few:

This is the first video we took, on Christmas morning. 

This was taken on December 27th.

I love her Candy Cane striped leg warmers and she gives the camera a beautiful smile at the end.

Everyone keeps asking how the dogs like her. See for yourself.

BWWE

You are never supposed to compare your baby to other babies. Besides being rude, accurate comparisons are impossible because every baby develops at his or her own pace. But let’s be honest, we all do it.

When my neighbor’s daughter (a full three weeks older than Harper) began grabbing things before Harper did I immediately went home and dangled various objects of interest over her head in an attempt to coerce her into snatching one. And when Harper slept through the night I couldn’t help but casually mention it to another parent, just to see her reaction. I suppose this makes me a bad person.

So it was only a matter of time before my BFF, Natalie, and I began to compare our own children.

Natalie and I both desperately wanted girls. I wanted a girl because I have 3 brothers, 6 male cousins and 2 brothers-in-law.  Natalie wanted a girl for reasons she chooses to keep to herself. Luckily, we both got our wish. Anika came first and only ten months later Harper was born. We are certain it is only a matter of time before they become best friends, too, despite the fact that they live on opposite ends of the country and have never met, as of this writing.

Me, Laura and Natalie at my “Bridesmaid Dress” themed bachelorette party. As I was searching for a photo of the two of us together it hit me that I don’t have any on my computer. I should really get around to scanning some, for times like this, when I publically out her. Her outfit, by the way, was THE BOMB.

Anika and Harper were different right from the start. Anika has a head full of fuzzy blonde hair. Harper is brunette and practically bald. Anika has better things to do with her time than eat. Harper’s nickname is Munch Mouth. Anika is petite. Harper is lanky. There is such a disparity in their size, in fact, that Harper is quickly catching up to Anika. This, of course, led Natalie and I to discuss what every competitive parent wonders: which baby would win if pitted against each other in an Ultimate Cage Match?

ADVANTAGE: Harper

Speed - Because she smaller than her opponent, Harper should, in theory, be faster than Anika.

Agility- Harper is adept at rolling over (an ability she generally only practices in her sleep). This skill should help her avoid any blows Anika may rain on her. As long as she’s sleeping.

Special Skills – Harper is a gifted screamer; a tactic she may use to stun her opponent.

Other – Harper can’t really, you know, move yet. This may prove to be her Achilles Heel.

I am totally getting Harper this mask.

ADVANTAGE: Anika

Speed – I have never seen Anika move in person. However, her gargantuan size of 18 pounds should really slow her down.

Agility- Anika is mobile, a distinct advantage over her opponent. There is no way to sugar coat this. Even if she were able to only toddle over and sit on Harper, the match would pretty much be over immediately.

Special Skills – Her advantage is so great, she doesn’t really need any.

Other – Anika has hand-eye coordination all over Harper.

The Fuzz Head practicing her mad smack-down skillz.

Maybe I should rethink physical challenges. When I get some time I’m going to start teaching Harper to play Chess.

Sucker

A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that when she was breastfeeding she felt perpetually naked and wet. Substitute “sticky” for “wet” and I agree wholeheartedly.

I fear I am devolving into a “naked person” and have begun to resent having to wear a clothing at all. Not that I enjoy going topless all the time, just that it is so much easier than the alternative. What’s the point of dressing if I’ll just be baring it all again in another twenty minutes? And who decided I have to be fully clothed before going to the mailbox or bringing the dogs inside? I’m kidding, of course. Kind of.

Innumerable girlfriends have asked me in recent weeks if I feel like a dairy cow. I don’t. I feel more like a long-neglected fish tank with heavily plaqued algae and an overzealous Plecostomus attached to my walls. Harper is very good at nursing.

                                                                 Harper is the fish.   

Harper has become my little conditioned Pavlovian. Recently she was watching me as I got dressed and she started to smack her lips when I took off my blouse. 

And she has this new adorable habit of making a growling sound as she lunges towards my chest. Also, she gnaws on my shoulder when I burp her. Brad didn’t believe me until he saw it for himself. We’ve decided that for next Halloween she will be going as a flesh eating monster.

She has clearly got the upper hand on us, though. Once she settles in to nurse she looks up at me with her big blue-grey eyes and just beams, milk leaking all over, and I can’t help but smile back. 

         

In House Entertainment

I am officially a stay-at-home mom. At least for the time being. And I love it, really I do. There are very few people on this Earth I like to spend my time with as much as Harper. However, with each passing day I begin to feel the art of adult conversation slipping away. So, to liven things up around here I have been singing. A lot. We have a song for everything around here. One of my favorite tactics is changing the lyrics of songs we know to fit the situation.

While Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “I Like Big Butts” (one of our favorite diapering songs) has remained virtually unchanged, “Shake Your Booty” by K.C. and the Sunshine Band is now “Shake Your Rattle” or, sometimes, the more subversive “Don’t Shake the Baby”. We have substituted “Harper Booker” for the “Hallelujahs” in Handel’s  “Hallelujah Chorus”.  And many of you know that M.C. Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This” now announces “Diaper Time” instead of “Hammer Time”.

But our rendition of the children’s classic “Frere Jacques” has really taken on a life of its own. Lyrics follow, but please keep in mind the majority of the song was written before they had diagnosed her reflux.

Verse I

Harper Booker (repeat)

What are you doing? (repeat)

Screaming your head off, (repeat)

And driving mommy crazy. (repeat)

Verse II

Harper Booker (repeat)

What are you doing? (repeat)

Pooping in your diaper. (repeat)

Let’s go find daddy. (repeat)

Verse III (Brad wrote this verse)

Harper Booker (repeat)

What are you doing? (repeat)

Mommy is the milk truck, (repeat)

And changes diapers also. (repeat)

Verse IV

Harper Booker (repeat)

What are you doing? (repeat)

Being a fussy baby. (repeat)

Fussy, fussy baby. (repeat)

Verse V

Harper Booker (repeat)

What are you doing? (repeat)

Sitting in your backpack, (repeat)

And chewing on your turtle. (repeat)

Verse VI

Harper Booker (repeat)

What are you doing? (repeat)

Smiling and talking. (repeat)

Such a cute baby. (repeat)

I don't know what this is, but I really wish we had a diapering robot.