Harper: "If I died would you be very sad and cry and cry a large river of salty tears and your heart would be broken forever and ever and you would never forget me?"
Me: "Of course!"
Harper: "If you died I would be sad, too."
Me: "Thank you. But everyone is very healthy so I don't think you need to worry..."
Harper (interrupting): "And then daddy would have to marry a new woman..."
Me (to myself): "Well, he wouldn't HAVE to get remarried."
Harper: "... and I would have a new mommy. Will the new woman be nicer than you?"
Me: "I don't see how that could be possible."
*Please note her use of the word "will" as in daddy is definitely going to marry a younger, prettier replacement mom before your body is cold in the ground and she will obviously will be a much better parent than you are currently. Nice.