... there was a Royal family: King Daddy, Queen Mommy, Princess Doodles and Prince Toddles. One day, while King Daddy was hard at work doing Kingly Things (during a four-day Holiday Weekend), Queen Mommy decided to take Princess Doodles and Prince Toddles with her in The Royal Carriage (which had recently been paid off in full) to do the shopping.
After all their parcels had been paid for, Queen Mommy and Princess Doodles returned to The Carriage merry, while Prince Toddles was overly tired and complained so that his cries were heard throughout the entire land.
As the trio approached The Carriage, the Princess spied a Wicked Screw near the rear wheel of The Royal Carriage. The Princess was very clever, and remembered a time not long before, when such a screw had pierced the wheel of The Carriage and Queen Mommy had been forced to pull The Carriage over to the side of the road in Little Havana ask kind strangers for assistance in a dialect that was strange to her ear (because King Daddy had been at work in a far off land on a Saturday).
So when Princess Doodles showed Queen Mommy The Screw, Queen Mommy was proud of her clever daughter, and asked The Princess to keep the Wicked Screw in her hand until the time it could be properly destroyed (as she was distracted with Prince Toddles, who was now throwing a convulsion-like fit and head butting so that nary a soul within neck-swinging distance was safe from his fury). And so the clever Princess did.
After Queen Mommy had finished binding the possessed Prince to The Carriage seat, she set about arranging the parcels in the rear of the coach, when Princess Doodles exclaimed, “Look, Queen Mommy! I am practicing my letters!”
And so the clever Princes was, using the Wicked Screw (which had been sent directly from the Depths of Hell), on the virgin rear panel of the Royal Carriage.