Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Bunnies vs. Zombies

Harper’s vocabulary is pretty limited at this point, which is surprising considering she comes from a long line of talkers (on the Bauer side, of course. Bookers and talking are like oil and vinegar- they make a fine salad dressing but you can't expect them to start the conversation). Still, she does have a handful of words she uses consistently. Here is a page from Harper’s dictionary (in alphabetical order, naturally):
Dad - Pronounced “da-addd!”, as if she were a demanding teenager rolling her eyes. Definition: “Hey big, hairy guy who makes me laugh. Get over here right this instant and entertain me!”
Dog - Pronounced “dah”, without the g. Definition: “I am currently feeding the organic lunch that you lovingly prepared to these drooling, wiggly quadrupeds.” Alternate definitions: “I am pulling on the quadruped’s ear,” “I am chewing on the quadruped’s tail,” “I wonder the quadrupeds’ rubber bone* tastes like?”  etc. (*“rubber bone” may be substituted for anything the dogs have had in their mouths).    
Duck - Pronounced “duCK”, with the overemphasized “CK” like the Yiddish “ch” from deep in the back of the throat. Definition: Generally duck but also goose, swan, parrot, flamingo or, on occasion, anything with a beak, feathers, fur or scales.
Mom - Pronounced fairly accurately, or sometimes “mama”. Definition: A command as in, “I want milk right NOW!" or “Get me out of this highchair right NOW!” Please note: “mom” and “mama” are commonly used while she is staring directly at my chest and/or pawing at my blouse.
No - Pronounced “nonononono!” ad infinitum. Definition: “I would much rather spend the rest of my life in this soiled diaper than interrupt my activities for ten seconds to endure a diaper change.” Important to note: often “no” is accompanied by thrashing about in convulsion-like fits that can only be counteracted with fervent belly-raspberries.
Yeah – Pronounced “yeah”. Definition: An appropriate response to any query. For example, question: “Do you think it will rain?” Answer: “Yeah.”  Question: “Do you think it will rain spaghetti and meatballs?” Answer: “Yeah.”  Question: “Do you think Kim Jong-il’s reign as Chairman of the National Defense Commission, General Secretary of the Workers' Party of Korea, Supreme Commander of the Korean People's Army and pseudo-deity of North Korea will be maintained indefinitely or do you think that oppressed and starving North Korean’s will rise up and revolt to reclaim their country?” Answer: “Yeah.” 

Her understanding of language is pretty good, too. She knows the names of a lot of objects and will point to them if she is in the right mood and within no more than six to twelve inches of them upon inquiry. For example, if she is in the bathtub facing the drain and you ask her where the drain is she will frequently point to it. Of course, this is only true as long as she isn’t distracted by her rubber octopus, pelican, turtle, porpoise, crab, the rushing water, Splash Time or her own fingers. The same can be said of the faucet and soap. And outside of the tub she will (often) point to one’s nose or mouth upon request, or even one’s (belly) button and “mommy’s fat tummy” (thank you, Brad).
But the newest verbal development is that she is parroting just about every sound that comes out of our mouths. She has barked, chirped, whinnied, mooed and hummed along to whatever music is playing in the background. She is a virtual noise making machine these days.
Those of you who now or have once had toddlers know that you can’t actually make them do anything, especially on cue or when a camera is available. But we were able to catch her making “the bunny sound” (i.e. sniffing) and making “Zombie growls” (which she perfected while visiting her cousin Hazel on our trip to Utah in July) on video. So here they are, visual proof of our little genius in action:

Brad also got (a lot of) adorable footage of her playing his Djembe, but its length precludes me from being able to upload it onto this blog. Spoiler alert: she is going to LOVE her birthday gift!

And yes, we pretty much have a clothing optional household for everyone under three years of age. Don't judge us.

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