Breaking News

An airplane suffered engine trouble this morning and was forced to make an emergency landing in a local neighborhood, further complicating a tragic multiple-vehicle accident involving several vehicles including a cement mixer, fire engine, tractor and school bus. Horrifically and for reasons not yet made clear, the school bus wasn’t filled with school children but with WILD ANIMALS which then poured out on to the highway to wreak havoc among the wounded passengers. The commotion alerted various species of invasive dinosaurs which are now actively hunting the survivors.... and driving the occasional vehicle. They leave a trail of carnage and horror in their wake, the likes of which this reporter has never before witnessed.

This is Leah Booker, reporting live from Harper’s bedroom.