TMI

I started this blog to keep friends and family who are scattered far and wide abreast of current Booker events. But once I started making entries it occurred to me that it was a great way to journal our lives. The truth is, I am terrible at keeping a baby book or in any other way chronicling this journey of marriage and parenthood. So please be patient with me if sometimes my posts seem overly indulgent or personal; I just don’t want to forget anything.

With that in mind I must say that Harper is a pretty comical kid. I know, I know, everyone thinks their kid is clever and funny. But I swear, she has said some of the wittiest and/or most bizarre things I have ever heard in my life. Two recent examples of her hilarity follow.

July 14, 2013

Our little family was enjoying dinner when Brad excused himself to use the, ahem, lavatory.  

Harper: “Where is daddy?”

Me: “You know where daddy is. Where did daddy go?”

Harper: “He’s taking a ride on the pee hole!”

This visual was too much for me and instantly triggered a laughing fit that lasted until my sides hurt (which, obviously, only served to goad her). There is absolutely no one in Harper’s life who would use this kind of terminology so I am left believing that she came up with it on her own, which seems almost unfathomable given the perfectly inappropriate yet crassly descriptive nature of her turn of phrase. So, of course, we had to adopt it as part of the Booker common vernacular. "I need to clean the pee holes this evening, " I'll state. "If you need me I'll be in the pee hole, " Brad will remark, "I'm going to take a ride."

And then there was this:
July 16, 2013

On the drive home this evening Harper started talking about what mommy and daddy’s “jobs” were.

Harper: “Daddy mows the grass.”

Me: “Yes. What else does daddy do?”

Harper: “He washes the car.”

Me: “Yes. He washes the car. What are his other jobs?”

Harper: “To take care of mommy and Harper.”

Me: “That’s right. Daddy takes good care of us.”

Harper: “Drives the tractor.”

Me: “Yes, he drives the tractor at the farm. What are mommy’s jobs?”

Harper: “Take care of Maisy and Willa.”

Me: “Yes, I take care of the dogs.”

Harper: “Mommy knocks things over.”

Brad (perking up): “Mommy knocks things over?”

Harper: “Yes. And waves her arms.”

Brad (looking at me quizzically): “She waves her arms and knocks things over?”

Harper: “Mommy drinks.”

I swear that she really said this and I did not prompt her. By the time she said “Mommy drinks,” I was laughing so hard I was crying. I fear Brad has an inaccurate depiction of what transpires in his absence.

I told you she’s the funniest kid ever.